Sunday, October 25, 2020
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These Are the Absolute Worst Amazon Prime Day Deals of 2020

These Are the Absolute Worst Amazon Prime Day Deals of 2020
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Illustration for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Amazon Prime Day Deals of 2020

Screenshot: Amazon

Look, I already had beef with Amazon Prime Day 2020. And while our friends over at The Inventory actually care about the decent, possibly even “good,” deals you might find, we here at Gizmodo have an annual tradition of finding the garbage that Jeff Bezos and his goons are trying to peddle so they can clear their inventory for more trash. Can you find deals on things you might actually use? Sure. But there’s also a sea of mediocre crap that you never knew existed and probably don’t need cluttering your home anyway.

We’re destroying our eyeballs and sacrificing our mental health scouring the hellsite for the things you should absolutely not buy, unless you’re irony-poisoned and doing it out of spite. Why are we doing this? So you don’t have to. Also for the shits and giggles.

I’ll be updating the list over today and tomorrow as we come across more truly heinous buys. If you see one feel free to hit me up at vsong@gizmodo.com.

Bitter Apricot Seeds

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Screenshot: Amazon

Before this deal, I was not aware you could, in fact, eat apricot seeds. Or why you might even want to eat bitter apricot seeds. Apparently, Amazon knows that too. These were on sale between…12:50 am and 6:50 am. The description reads: “Bitterness is the first real indicator of nature’s high potency B17 found in genuine bitter apricots seeds…B17 has a slight numbing sensation in the mouth.” It, uh, sounds great. Except that WebMD says there’s a shady history behind apricot seeds, B17, and general wellness schlock.

Polarized Sports Sunglasses for Men Women Youth Baseball Fishing Cycling Running Golf Motorcycle Tac Glasses UV 4000

Illustration for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Amazon Prime Day Deals of 2020

Screenshot: Amazon

Thanks, I hate that several people decided hell yeah, I’m going to spend $14 on these pair of knockoff Oakleys with the SEO-pumped name. You look like a blue douche.

BigOtters Slot Machine Toy

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Screenshot: Amazon

When you want to install very good habits in children, and/or be that insensitive dick giving this “creative gift” to someone with a gambling addiction. Even for $7.60, I can see no reason why a human would want to buy this…

Vekkia 12 LED Rechargeable Book Light

Illustration for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Amazon Prime Day Deals of 2020

Screenshot: Amazon

What is this alien ass book light? As someone who used to use book lights, one light is fine, thank you very much. Also, last I checked you can only read one page at a time? And book lights are already adjustable? Who is this for????

Motivational Tracking Water Bottle

Illustration for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Amazon Prime Day Deals of 2020

Screenshot: Amazon

Look, we all need to hydrate. What we don’t need to do is encourage terrible typography or pay $16 for a “funny” joke that’s not foxing funny. God effing damn, just say fuck like an adult or better yet, don’t try to be edgy on a dumbass water bottle.



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