Sunday, October 25, 2020



No more Mr Muscle: the activists championing body confidence for men | Life and style

Back in 2013, Kelvin Davis was shopping for a red blazer in his home town of Columbia, South Carolina, when he was publicly body shamed. The school teacher, who is 5ft 10in and wears 38in waist trousers, had not previously been concerned about his frame. “The tipping point was when the sales assistant told me I was too big to shop there,” he says, adding it was made worse by the fact that others overheard. “I felt very insecure and didn’t know how to deal with that.” So he turned...

How to stop being a people pleaser | Life and style

“Can you come to this meeting?” No. “Yes.” “Are you free on Saturday night?” No, I’m watching Spiral. “Yes.” “Can I borrow your black jacket?” No. “Yes.” “Would you like pizza?” No. “Yes.” “Have you got five minutes?” No. I don’t have five seconds. “Yes.” “Can you pick me up?” No. “Yes.” “Make me a coffee while you’re at it.” Sod off. “Sure.” Every time I want to say no, I start to worry about inconveniencing the person doing the asking. Or upsetting them. Or disappointing them. (How much do...

Let me finish: how to stop interrupting… and change the world | Life and style

I won’t interrupt you. I promise. I won’t interrupt your words – or your thoughts.Imagine it. Imagine the relief, the possibilities, the dignity. You now have ground that is yours. Unassailably. This is for you. Time to think. To feel. To figure out what you really want to say. To say it, to consider it. To change it. To finish your sentences, to choose your own words. To become – because you can trust the promise – a bit bold, even eloquent. To become you.And because you know I will...

I want to move back to the UK. How can I convince my husband to give it a try? | Annalisa Barbieri | Life and style

I met my husband at university, while he was studying in the UK. He returned to his home in mainland Europe and we had a long-distance relationship for some years before I moved to his homeland, supposedly for a year, after which we were meant to settle back in the UK. My relocation at the time was the sensible option: I could work anywhere, and he had just been offered a good job. It was my idea, which, of course, he welcomed. Eventually we got married and bought a house....

Asparagus takes the crown: ‘I felt like I’d found fairies in the garden’ | Palisa Anderson | Life and style

While I was harvesting nasturtium pods to brine for poor man’s capers recently, I came across a lovely surprise on our farm – a clump of fat asparagus all about the size of a sharpie marker. Truly, I felt like I’d found fairies in the garden. I’d completely forgotten that we’d put in this crop a number of years ago and I’d long given up on ever harvesting more than a meagre few asparagus stems at a time. Much like strawberries it takes a while to for the crowns to...

How my new baby’s first weeks and lockdown blurred together | Life and style

When was 12, I’d go to batmitzvah classes every Friday after school, and the highlight was breaktime, when we would sit crosslegged on the carpet while a formidable lady called Suzanne told us that day’s plot of Neighbours. One day she entered the room with unusual solemnity. She said there had been a terrible bomb at Lassiters and everybody had died, and Neighbours had finished forever. She waited a minute or so before breezily admitting she’d missed the lunchtime showing and so had no idea what had happened, but the...

What I learned at man camp, where men get in touch with their emotions | Life and style

On a Friday evening in early March, two weeks before much of the US went into a coronavirus lockdown, I found myself standing in the California desert, screaming into another man’s face. The next day, the smell of burning sage wafted through the air as I took my shirt off and wrestled a guy inside a metal dome. Later, I was part of a group of more than 20 men, many crying, as we talked about our emotions – about moments from our childhood, about parents, about doomed relationships and...
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