ASK AMY: Waning sex life not necessarily the norm
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They also ask me how much money I make and how much I have saved for retirement.
I am on the verge of being rude myself and snapping at them to mind their own business.
How can I diplomatically tell them I don’t want to be asked this question any longer, and that it’s rude?
— About to Blow
Dear About to Blow: Your neighbours obviously weren’t taught the same lesson you were. In some families, cultures, and neighbourhoods, this question might not be considered rude.
You can be diplomatic by politely stating how you feel: “I probably should have said this before now, but I don’t like to talk about money or answer questions about the price of things. I understand that you’re curious, but it makes me uncomfortable.”
Your neighbours will probably continue doing this, because this is how they relate to people and initiate conversations. After you’ve made your diplomatic statement, you can greet repeat offenses with a smile and a reminder: “Remember? No money talk for me!”
You can also respond with a non sequitur that discourages follow-through: “Ha ha, you guys are so curious!”
Dear Amy: “Wanting to Want” wasn’t particularly eager to “partner up.”
I was in her/his shoes at one point. I had a satisfying life as a singleton.
Suddenly, everyone was getting married, having babies, etc., and I felt like an outcast. I wondered what was “wrong” with me.
It took a while, but finally I decided to stop wanting and just start enjoying.
Low and behold, the next person I dated, turned out to be my spouse going on 30 years. Sometimes when you stop looking, the apple falls into your lap.
Dear Happy: And if the apple doesn’t fall into your lap, you still get to live a satisfying life.