ASK AMY: New mom needs respite and empathy
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You also need some respite, someone who can be with your baby while you take a nap, take a walk, or get a haircut. These small things are the essence of “self-care” when you have a baby at home. Obviously, the pandemic has complicated the process of bringing another individual into your household. If there is a way to safely do so for even three hours a week, you should.
Normally, I would suggest that your husband watch your baby, solo, for several hours during a weekend day (because the best way to understand what a full-time mom goes through is to experience a bit of it, yourself), but given his extreme limitations, this might not be the wisest course.
I assume that he might be modeling attitudes and behaviour he experienced in his own household growing up, and one way to talk to him about your needs might be to ask him about his own parents’ attitudes about work and family.
Dear Amy: I am married to a man with three kids. The oldest is 18, and he has two much younger children.
The oldest (a daughter) lives in another state. She doesn’t have the best relationship with her dad (my husband).
When we first got together, my husband was still getting divorced, so it was a lot of drama.
I am only 29 and have never been with a man who has children.
His oldest is angry that I never reached out to her.
In my defense, we were going to visit last year, and I thought we would meet then. But she wouldn’t meet because she was mad at us. Should I reach out now?